Here�re the secrets the Gundam Wing staff never wanted you to know; the original story of Gundam Wing. (Okei, so not really, but I like to think of it that way.)

Gundam Wing does not belong to me. I own no part of it. Etc., etc. You get the point. Don't try to sue me because I have no money.

Operation Meteor (also Operation M) has been engaged. The Gundams have been sent to Earth. However, OZ officials have caught on to the scam, and are following its progress.

Several young OZ officers waited in the control room of a commercial jet. Their Lieutenant, who was in command of the ship, relaxed in the back room, waiting for a Gundam sighting.

"OH!" an officer cried. "A Gundam sighting!"

Another young officer turned and shouted to the back room, "Lieutenant Seks, come quickly!"

A moaning was heard for the room. The first officer slapped his forehead and tried his luck. "No, Lieutenant, we meant in here! Get in here!"

"Oh! I see," a deep voice answered with a sigh. Zzzzzppp! He zipped up his pants and walked into the control room, his long blonde hair flowing behind him. "Jamison, there�s an awful stain on the wall in there that really needs to be taken care of�"

"Yessir," Jamison, the second officer, responded in a melancholy tone, not looking forward to the job ahead of him. "I�ll get right on it."

"You say there�s a Gundam, Roberts?" Seks asked the first officer.

"Yes, closing in. Only one has been sighted."

"I�m gonna go fight it."

"WHAT?! We only have crappy suits now, the Taurus 2 haven�t been developed yet! We haven�t even gotten to the episode where you get Talgese, either, sir!"

"So�? Hey, I get Talgese? COOL!"

Roberts cleared his throat. "ANYWAY� You�ll be killed if you go out there!"

"You sure?"

"Actually, at the end of the episode, you make it to Earth�"

"How do you know of all this?" Seks stared at the officer, simply amazed.

"I watched the Gundam Wing series on Cartoon Network� They�re gonna show Endless Waltz soon*!"

(*Yes, they�ve already aired it a few times; for arguments� sake, this story is before it was aired, okei?)

"Wow, tape it for me! In the meantime," Seks headed toward the Aries storage on the back of the jet, "I�m gonna beat this guy! Oh yeah, don�t forget to buy my Rei-Rei: Missionary of Love video!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know�"

Seks took the Aries suit outside into the atmosphere. (They took so much time talking that they couldn�t confront the Gundam in space like the show.) The pilot seemed to be waiting for a challenge.

"Die! You f---ing stealer-of-my-sister, DIE!!!" (Sure, this skips around in the series, but who cares?) Seks shot his pitiful little machine gun at the Gundam.

Inside, its pilot, Heero Yui (so they want you to believe), sat in the cockpit, just laughing. "Miliardo, don�t you get it?! I can�t die; I was trained to be perfect!" He laughed menacingly. "I AM perfect; omae o korosu!"

Seks began to respond, "You�re not- Hey, how�d you know my real name?"

"You dip shit, you�re not wearing your mask!"

Cursing, Seks realized he had forgotten his mask; a problem he�d been having lately. "So you know who I am; you won�t live to tell!" Another sad barrage of bullets hit Wing Gundam.

Heero, acting as though he knew everything, causally pushed a button on his control panel. "Seks, you�re dead." He was so smart; he�d pushed the button that would lock heat-seeking missiles onto an opposing MS. Unfortunately, he�d hit the wrong button, causing the top Gundanium Alloy layers on his Gundam to peel away. His system began to fry. "Oh shit�"

Heero�s Gundam plummeted into the ocean and he was never seen again (at least in this chapter).

***********

"Trowa, you�re up next with Kathrine. Hurry up and get ready."

"Alright." Trowa calmly finished clipping his suspenders to his baggy pants� of course that was when he realized he was wearing the wrong ones. Instead of those freaky bright green things, he wore the oversized pants of the Circus Ringmaster. "Oh well," he said to himself, "they look good enough."

"TROWA!" An overly hyper Kathrine barged in. She clung to his arm and knocked his clown mask out of his hand. "Oh, I�m so glad we get to do another show together! Aren�t you excited?!"

"Yeah�really hyped." He rolled his eyes. Last time they�d performed, Kathrine had nearly taken his ear off with one of her knives. (Yeah, remember that episode?) Her aim was getting worse, and he dreaded that his choice of a cover would do him in.

They heard their names called from the center ring, and Kathrine ran out, practically dragging poor Trowa by his arm. With a dislocated shoulder, he stood in front of the large wooden board, waiting to begin.

Kathrine reeled her arm back, holding twelve knives. She let them fly at Trowa. He screamed. Eleven of them had hit him.

"Oh� Sorry Trowa!" Kathrine laughed nervously and blushed. "I guess it was bad aim�"

"DAMN STRAIGHT IT WAS! You stupid bitch, look what you did to me!!"

The knives stuck out of Trowa in various places, pinning him immobile to the wooden board behind him. Blood was flowing down the board.

"You don�t have to be so rude Trowa. I still have one knife left�" He shook his head vigorously, desperate that she not throw it. An evil grin crossed Kathrine�s face, and she chucked the knife at Trowa, not aiming at all. It his him right in the crotch.

Trowa screamed louder than ever. As the circus workers dragged the board behind the set, Trowa cussed viciously at Kathrine in a high-pitched voice. "DAMN THIS! Damn you! Damn everything! Who the hell decided to hire you anyway?? He was probably HIGH on something!!"

Backstage, Trowa eventually passed out because of all the blood loss. The guys back there pulled the knives out of him while the Ringmaster gently scolded Kathrine. "Now now, you shouldn�t have thrown that last one. Be more careful next time, okay?"

"OKAY!" Kathrine saluted him like a military officer.

Trowa, waking up, suddenly leapt to his feet. He ran spastically around in circles a few times, then fell over, dead as a doornail.